idk it just happened. i didnt want it to happen... at least that's what i'm going to keep telling myself. damn that boy was sloppy... and i'm ashamed of who it was. i wanted to stop... but he kept going so i was like... meh okay. his hand moved up and i was like FUCK THAT! pushed his ass off and slapped him on the head. then i just walked away. soooo not ready for that shit.

so my birthday is on wednesday. i'm going to be 18. i feel so grown up but i want to run around, play with toys, chillax, watch movies and just feel immature and young. idk.
i got my checking account so i can get direct depotsit at work, i'm also registered to vote, which i WILL be doing.
so work is sorta a love/hate thing. i love the people, the money, and sometimes the actual work, but then there are those off days, where i wish i just stayed home and called in sick. this one time i got called in to work, i get there and the store is a MESS! clothes were tossed all over and the place looked like shit. so i get to working. folding clothes like crap cause they are like "just get them out there!!!" so i walk out start putting things away and i noticed a nasty smell... it was a stink bomb. someone set off a stink bomb in the corner of dudes one. so people started complaining and the managers grabbed bottles of jake and started spraying the place down. there is nothing worse then the smell of colonge and rotton egg stink bomb.

now i'm worried. i'm going to be 18 the next time i work. this means i no longer get a half hour break, which i need because of my hypoglycimea and my bad knees. i dont think i'm going to tell them though, i want to so fucking bad because i like being honest, but i know they will be like oh your 18 you have to stay after and help put shit away. which is going to suck banana balls.


anyway my birtday is wednesday and i'm excited because i'm taking zach and chris to see balls of fury and then dinner at mongo bongo with them and egla. of course zach doesnt have money but i really want him there so i'm paying for him... on my birthday. i actually dont care... i really do want him there. chris was talking to him and he told me that zach told him that he was excited. so now i'm pumped. he's a cutie. i havent been able to get him off my mind since the beginning of july. i dont even like him because he has a cute face... honestly that doesnt even matter. i like him because he's funny and nice and ajdnfdbf;ajdf blah blah blah... anyway. i'm just hoping i dont get my heart broken again. i know he's like... in love with love haha and he was in love with his last gf and she left him so now he's like taking things slow and he was like i'm not really looking for a relationship right now. i kept thinking... did i ever say i wanted a relationship... i'll take what i can get haha. seriously though... he's fucking adorable. i was talking to him last night and he was like i suck at everything... and i kept saying i doubt that and asking him like what about this and that? he's like yeah... sucked. i then asked him about snowboarding he was like... tried it, fell down A LOT. i was like... welllll you must not have been standing right, who was teaching you. he was like.. no one. i was like oh well that's were you went wrong. you just need a good teacher, how about this, this winter you and i will go snowboarding. you wont fall down trust me, and if you want to stay on the bunny hill all day... i wont let you.
it was cute. we could talk for hours. that's what i'm most excited about for my bday. even if i shoudlnt get my hopes up. there are so many girls that like him, i cant let him know that it makes me a little jealous. ugh... i hope things work out. but if they dont... its coo.... ok that's a lie.

so in one week my life has turned around. i got a job, my license and perhaps a boy.

but today we were suppoed to go on a date like thing but i called him and he said he was very sorry but he couldnt make it. he didnt have any money (which wasnt a problem for me. i didnt either) and his friend was having issues that he needed to help them with... im not gonna lie i was a little upset because of this. i guess i'll look at it this way, he's a good guy that cares about his friends and will help them whenever they need it no matter what. so i guess that's a good thing and a nice way of loooking at it. he's going to call me tomorrow so i'll find out what's up.

I GOT A JOBBBBBB!!!

yeah at hollister with chris j. it's gonna be fun. $7.15 an hourrrr. YAY!

wow, welcome back to livejournal.


i have some things i need to get off my chest!


1) i suck at remembering things, so if i am on your side one day that doesnt mean i will have those same views in a month or so.
2) idk if i said it but neil and i broke up a hell of a long time ago, so dont bother bringing that up.
3) i am sick of my house/room/environment and i plan on changing it like now.
4) why am i so dumb that when someone calls me up for an interview i say i cant make it because i have a party to go to! STUPID GIRL! previous engagement always something smart not like a crazy party girl!
5) get a job... like now. SRSLY IF ANYONE KNOWS OF WHERE I COULD WORK PLEASSSSE TELL ME!
6) i am a royal asshole with a potty mouth to match. get used to it. i can try to change but this is who i am.
7) my birthday is in less than two months. i will be 18 and that means i'm getting a tattoo. i dont care what you say about it, it will be like the raper eve's tiger paw prints on her chest but on the inside of my hips, like where a guys v line would be. it's going to be hot, and i'm not telling my parents, they will kill me, so dont bring it up in front of them.
8) i dont have any money right now. so if i promised you something, like cookies or shoes it may take a while, the cookies not so much but the shoes will take a long time, well not long but a month or two considereing i dont have an effing job, refer to number five on that subject.
9) i know what dance i'm doing for the dance concert so dont steal it or i'll kill you.
10) and last of all, why cant i sleep like a normal person? i sleep all day and i'm up all night. that's not normal. not at all. wtf man?!

is there ever a period of unsureness that a person goes through in a relationship because its so new? idk i like him but idk... w/e

wow he is so amazingly cute/shy.

how excited am i for the weekend? MY INSIDES ARE READY TO BURST! I was thinking today on the bus after i gave Neil a hug goodbye, is he ever gonna call me or am i always gonna be the girl who calls him all the time? as i'm about to take a nap my phone rings and it's Neil. I pick up, he asks me how my day was and when we are gonna go out again. so either friday or saturday, idk what we are doing, i told him to call me later in the week and we'll figure it out. yay for me. HA!

so the movies was fun. having a third and fourth wheel was not so much fun but then again it was... chris are you reading this?! anyway maybe i should get my license so i will not be forced to have other people go with us and i would at that point have a choice, or i could ride my fat ass up over to his house on my bike. we went and saw vacancy and it was a stupid movie by my standards, there were only two main characters so you knew no one would die in the beginning of the movie but to drag on the squealing and screams of door pounding and sneaking around for 80 minuets and get no blood and no gore like the critcs were gabbing about... what the heck? sure there some parts that had us all jumping out of our seats but not enough to live up to the hype. i suggest you wait for this movie to come out on dvd because it has nothing in it that is worth seeing on the big screen. in fact i would have rather went and saw grindhouse again because that is the kind of shit i was expecting. whatever. i'd call him today, but i have a ton of homework to do, i hate mcrae that bitch can fry.

i got a 25 on my acts.
i feel pretty darn smart.



ANYYYYWAY! break was lame besides going to the movies with my loves, i tried to get neil to go but he didnt have money. i said i would pay for him and he was like i'll give you a down payment or something cute like that. he asked his parents if he could go but it was kind of last minuet so i didnt really have high hopes. he mumbled something into the phone, i didnt dare ask what he said because i didnt want to look stupid (the last conversation we had i wasn't really listening and kept saying "what. huh?" dumb things like that. i felt really bad but chris was distracting me haha). he's cute when he stutters and he even stutters when he tells little jokes to keep the conversation going. anyway he asked if we could go to the movies this up coming weekend i said sure! haha. i hope that by the end of the week he can still go.
i really want to see vacancy but he's not 17 so i dont know how thats gonna go down. there really isn't anything going on between us... yet. i don't really know what the hell i am doing. i thought he was cute when i saw him on the bus in the beginning of the year but nicole said he was an asshole, so i just blew it off. at buffalo wild wings after the saturday show of pocket full of rhymes, felicity kept grabbing his ass through the bottom of the seats and he thought it was me. we started talking, i got his number, i'm pretty sure i waited too long to call because it was like ten days after. yeah it was too long but i was nervous and didnt know what to say. i'm going to go slow because i dont want to screw things up. if he just wants to be friends thats cool too. i dont know, i'm trying to show him i'm interested in him but i'm not the best at that. SO i will just continue to talk to him, get to know him, ask him to hang out blah blah blah blah blaaaaaaah! things that other people would consider normal, but since i have not been exposed to this portion of life yet i do not really know how it works. GOD it sucks being inexperienced at 17, but my views are pure i guess, still no one listens to me... actually thats another topic, so im going to stop here.



yeah. life's good.

something weird happened to me today. well it's not that weird but i'm not used to things like it, so for me it was. it's not really something i can describe. if you really want to know you can ask.

every time i think about how belle must feel with everyone paying attention to the new dog and not her i start to cry. i guess its because i know how it feels but i just dont want to leave belle alone and unloved. its only been two days and i miss it just being me and her. me and my best friend, and now this other dog is here and i dont know how to handle it. it's stupid, because i like this new dog but i love belle she's my buddy and if i'm crying this much because she's being pushed aside i'm going to break when she passes. i want to keep this new dog, but at the same time i dont. for twelve years it's been me and her. it's always about her, and i thought this is what i wanted, but i dont know anymore. i just dont know.

I'M GETTING MY DOG TODAYYYYY!


im so excited.it's a black lab. it's free!


srsly what's better than a free dog.... um nothing, well actually a free car, free house, free million dollars+, free trip around the world. hmm a lot of things. but this is going to be amazing. i hope belle doesnt become all territorial.

so i asked my mom if there was any particular reason why i wouldnt be able to give blood and she was like well if you black out all the time losing a large ammount of blood is going to make them even more frequent.... i was like shit.


i think i died a little.

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

<td align="center"> Jackie --
[noun]:

A person who has the ability to be invisible

'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com</td>


ahahahha^^^^^so trueee


<td align="center"> Jackie --
[noun]:

A person who makes a living suing celebrities

'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com</td>



<td align="center"> Jackie --
[adjective]:

Smells like teen spirit

'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com</td>




<td align="center"> Jackie --
[adjective]:

Extremely extreme!

'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com</td>


^^^ don't i know it





well nothings changed, like always. for lent i gave up... being a bitch? im not even sure what i gave up either way i still failed jesus. i really dont care. i ate meat on friday... of course i thought it was saturday to begin with so it really doesnt count... does it? anyway all i did during break is sit around watching movies. i also went and saw music and lyrics which was amazing. my mom was like are you going to buy it?! i was like of course... then i realized she wanted me to buy it because she doesnt want to waste her own money. then i went and saw ghost rider it was amazinggg y'all should see it. i tried getting my mom to sneak into breach but she was all no i have stuff to do. or something along those lines... ok im done. even im bored with this.

NOTE TO SELF: about five months after the theatrical release date the movie will come out on dvd.




im so smart

What ever happened to happily ever after? Why did Disney make a third Cinderella? If it were truly happily ever after then there should be no reason for a third movie. Especially one where the step mother puts a spell on Cinderella and the Prince to where he may not remember her. Does that sound like a happily ever after? Disney fucked up their own phrase.